


little mistakes, little hopes

by Thestarswillburn



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Angst No Happy Ending, Bruises, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Child Abuse, Character Death, Character Study, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Character(s), Non-Graphic Violence, Other, POV Second Person, Sad Ending, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tokyo Ghoul: re, i am horrible, tg minomi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 09:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13587474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thestarswillburn/pseuds/Thestarswillburn
Summary: You tried you best, yet it's still sad isn't it. When you think you've found happines, and it's so brutally taken away.





	little mistakes, little hopes

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first thing I complete...kinda  
> no beta reading, I accept costructive criticism.

 You are young. So very young and in another lifetime maybe you would be called beautiful. Maybe your mother would smother you with kisses, as she brushed your hair, and tell you how beautiful you are, how smart, brilliant. Maybe your father would look at you fondly and call you his little princes, his treasure, his daughter, he would chase away every boy who even thought of dating you, fearing that they may brake your sweet generous heart.

 But that's a lie, everything is a lie, and still you try so desperately to believe it, but it won't come true. The only thing your mother has ever given you are brushes. The only thing your father has ever called you is a disappointment, a mistake. And through the cruel jabs and the merciless beating, you try through tear filled eyes to maybe, maybe get a glimpse of that other world, of the happy world, the lie.

 Your parents constantly abuse you, the people that were meant to love and protect you, are the ones hurting you. You are all alone. You have no friends, no one to help you, no one to maybe console you. The kids at school keep avoiding you. You're the outcast the one no one wants to be around. After all, you are weird, with your always sad eyes, that no one seems to notice, and the quiet that follows you around, because in the quiet, in the stillness of everything you can imagine the other world again.

 And there you are not alone, your friends call to you, greet you happily, they ask you to play with them, they talk to you, you share your food with them. In this world you always have such a delicious bento, your mother made it, there is even a note in it, 'for my beautiful smart little star'. You like the stars, they are bright and so very far away, you wonder if one day perhaps you could be a star yourself, drifting in the universe, greeting the other stars and planets, discovering the unknown. But this world still remains a lie. Yet still you wish, that maybe, maybe if you believe hard enough, maybe you can disappear and become a bright star, far away from here far away from the neglect, the pain, the brushes. You close your eyes and you imagine. You smile.

 But you still have some hope, even in this world, the 'real' one. When you look at the waves crashing on the shore, look at them going up and down, and maybe maybe you imagine being swept away, being stolen by them, drifting far away into the open sea, letting the water ease your pain. You will float and at daylight you'll meet all the colorful and curious fish –like the ones you had seen in that picture book, a long long time ago– and they will gift you seaweed and empty seashells and you in return will give them your beating bloody heart, your lonely aching heart and they will feel it with sand and saltwater and it won't be empty anymore. And at night you'll look up at the stars, as the shine upon you, and maybe one will fall, just for you, just to meet you, and you'll have more friends than you could ever wish to. And for once you are happy, you have someone.

 But then you move, the people who hurt you so much, and still do, are now taking away the only inch of happiness you have, your only friend, your only escape,. And all those dreams, all those hopes, are suddenly so far away. You feel something inside you break, and you think that you'll have to glue your pulsing heart back together, before gifting it to the fish and the sea, or else the sand is going to spill. You are shoved into the old little car, so many times broken and repaired, you can clearly see the resemblance, it's comforting. The fact that your parents still haven't thrown it away. You sit, there on the worn seats, wearing pants that reach your knees, revealing green and purple brushes,- You tripped, you are a very clumsy child, at least that's what your mother said to the neighbours-, a shirt too big for your small frame, leaving skinny shoulders exposed. The damaged seatbelt is digging into your skin, small hands griping tightly on brown muttered fur. The only gift you ever received worn, dirty and missing a wide yellow eye, but he is also your friend nonetheless. The little teddy bear in your arms feels soft,comforting, a small comfort but a comfort nonetheless.

 The car moves and you watch through the stained window, watch the road, the trees and the clouds as they go by, and the sea. You look at the sea, your friend, for the last time, wishing for what can't be, and then it quickly passes. You are alone again.

 Nothing much changes. They still hurt you, you still have no friends, but now you don't have the company of the sea to console you, and your hope starts drifting away ,like you'll never be able too. Because you are almost certain now that you'll never get to be on the beach again, you'll never feel the warm sand beneath your feet, never hear the waves again, the sea won't be able to steal you away, and that is the saddest you've ever felt.

 And then you meet someone, and he is very very weird, but you don't mind because that is the only friend you've ever had, and he doesn't hurt you and he doesn't ignore you and you are happier. You can't help but dream again. You are almost certain that this time this time it's different, this time you are not so selfish, you know that this time it won't just be a dream, a lie, this one has to come true. Maybe not now, maybe if you can just hold on a little longer, you'll be able to go, to escape, if you can stand the pain just a little longer, maybe you could try to be nicer, smarter, make them notice you even less. They won't hurt you so much and you'll be able to live this dream.

 Your friend, your only 'real' friend, your only breathing friend has never been on the sea, so you'll take him you promise yourself that. When you run. When you finally escape to live under the stars, maybe on the beach, definitely near the sea, with the fish to keep you company, you'll sow them to him, the fish, you'll point them out and tell him their names, and when the stars come down to greet you, you will dance, dance until the first rays of the sun bid them away.

 Your friend you've realized doesn't know a lot of things, but you also realize that this only gives you more opportunities to be together. He can't read for example, you both had a lot fun learning together. He couldn't ride a bike either, you found the way he reacted to it really silly, like he never tried it before, but he was really exited and you both laughed a lot. And you start to like this new life you have fun and you play and you feel like a child, like your supposed to, but that doesn't stop them from hurting you.

 But for once someone notices, and cares, and you are happy but you can't help but wonder if it's because he knows how it feels, and you are sad because you don't want this to be true, because you don't want your friend to feel the same pain like you, because it is horrible and you don't want this. And you don't want to think about it, but you can't help but wonder if he has bruises too, you haven't seen any, you wonder if he is just better at hiding them. You never bothered to hide yours, a small victory against the monsters that harmed you, a sadistic joy when the neighbours would ask and your mother's face would twitch in worry, they never found the truth of your bruises, but it was still your victory. You wonder if he feels the same. If he also wants to leave and go, go far away from here, somewhere that the monsters will never reach. And he cares for you, you can she his worry, and you wonder if he can she yours, and you are almost certain that he knows, he knows how it feels, he knows how it hurts. And you want to run, run with him and go to the beach to the sea. You want to feel happy again, and you want your friend to be too.

And so you run, and you finally feel free, alive. Because you are not alone and no one will hurt you. No one will pull at your hair and call you worthless. No one will push you and hit you until you are purple and green and blue all over. No one will grab your neck and squeeze, squeeze until there is no air in your small lungs until there are tears in your eyes. Because you are scared, you don't want to die, you don't want to be alone, you are scared because your father isn't stopping, and he looks at you like it's your fault–it's not you know it's not, how could it, you didn't ask for this you didn't ask to be born, you didn't ask to be a mistake, you didn't, you didn't – and you are scared because you don't know what you did wrong. You don't know why he's angry this time. You never really know why he's angry. He's just so angry all the time. And maybe it really is your fault. But you don't need to worry about it anymore, cause you are far away. No more harsh words, no more bruises, no more pain. You are free.

 You trust him, your friend. You tell him about the sea, about the colours and the sand, and the fish and the stars, and he promises you'll go there, he promises and you're ecstatic. You think of all the games you'll play. You had never imagined yourself playing those before. You think of the castles you'll build in the sand, they'll be glorious, you'll build a kingdom, an empire. And you'll both be emperors, and kings and rulers. The kingdom of Minomi and Saeki, that sounds nice. You'll swim together too, you wonder if he also doesn't know how to swimming –it's alright, you'll teach him that too–, and dive and make matching jewellery out of abandoned seashells, those will be the symbol of your ruling. And you'll be happy, you'll be as happy as two children can be, ruling over a sandy kingdom. You'll be happy, and no one will ever hurt you again.

 And there you are, together, free and alive, in the small but yet warm tent. It's a bit scary, there in the middle of the woods, you never really liked the woods, especially at night. Unlike the sea. The sea is beautiful, you were never afraid of the sea. The sea would protect you from the monsters, the monsters that hurt you,. But you can still see the stars outside the tent. And after all your friend lives here, this is his home and he is right there with you so the woods don't scare you anymore.

 It actually is somehow exiting. It feels a lot like an adventure, the beginning of your journey. Your story. You think, and you plan how you'll get there, how you'll reach the sea, it's really far. Your friend actually suggests you take a car, you doubt he'd know how to drive one though– you certainly don't – it isn't a very reasonable option, so you continue thinking. It isn't easy, finding a plan to get you to the sea, you are both so small, you doubt any adults would take you seriously, or help you, at least they never seemed to do so before. You never thought it would be easy, but you'll make it, for your sake, for your friend.You spent many hours trying to think of a way to succeed, and by the end you are so very tired But you are together and this, probably, is the happiest you've ever been, in your sort life so far. That night you fall asleep, with dreams and hope in your heart.

 And then you wake up, or maybe you didn't get to wake at all. There are no more dreams. No more hope. Someone is hurting you again, and you don't know why, you don't know that person, and you wonder if they'll hurt your friend as well, if they already have, and you wish that at least you had seen the sea together before that.You are scared, everything hurts, it hurts and you had so wistfully through you would never be hurt again. But it hurts, and you don't understand. You don't know this person, they don't know you, so why? Where is your friend is he hurting like this too? No, he can't, you hope he isn't.

 It hurts and you are so very scared. You are so very sad, and it hurts so very much, and in a long time you feel like crying, but you can't. everything just hurts so very much. Crying hurts. Fighting hurts. Thinking hurts. And you are so tired, because being awake also hurts so much. So you don't. You sleep and it stops. It doesn't hurt, it isn't sad anymore, you are sleeping, your friend is alright and when you wake you'll go to the sea, you'll be happy. Everything is alright, and you sleep. And maybe, maybe in your last moments you consider the irony, that the time you finally felt alive was the moment you died.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, I got emotionally attached to a minor character in Tokyo ghoul, what a tragedy. *wink wink, nudge nudge*. Little Minomi and Saeki were just so cute, my poor babies. ( I have a soft spot for characters with terrible fathers, don't judge me.Like, don't get me wrong, he turned into an A+ psychopath, and I wanted to kick his ass until, pretty much the end, you have to admit tho that was a bit extreme, like damn Mutsuki. But he was such a smoll baby, and his dad was such an asshole. And they deserved better) Why does every character in tg have such a tragic past, when they all were such pure cinnamon rolls, that deserved anything else than this shit. I'm emotional ok.


End file.
